Dr. Randy Cale's Terrific Parenting: Stop the constant struggle with children – New York News




It seems that more and more parents face constant battles and daily struggles with their children. These battles often evolve into huge drama plays, with tears, screaming and emotional upsets. Parents then try to find ways to avoid these embarrassing or frustrating moments, seeking immediate relief rather than a healthy long- term solution.

While the tendency is to (falsely) hope that these struggles will eventually just fade away, the reality is that these problems will predictably get worse. Here’s why: We have been taught (by society, books, TV, etc.) to think that words should be used to manage children’s behavior. This is a serious problem, because words are quite worthless in teaching healthy habits.

What’s the answer? Here is my three-step solution to ending the daily struggles, and the drama that goes with it.

Step 1: Stop All Word Struggles, Battles and Negotiations. Today.


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Take a breath, and see how these daily struggles are inevitably a repeat of the same words over and over. The same dialogue over and over. The same drama you try to avoid just keeps happening. Remember the movie “Groundhog Day”? Bill Murray woke up and experienced the same day over and over.

So, step one. Stop it. Stop repeating the same losing battles.

Step 2: Get Clear On The Expectations That Build Healthy Habits

Most of us do not see life from the perspective of daily habits. Yet, there is an inevitable, unstoppable force that strengthens over time, making us a slave to our habits. We cannot fight the consequence of these habits.

Yet, many of us do not set…

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